goodbye

it was a sunday night. ys and i were going to open a bottle of champagne as a late celebration for my qualification. as i tried to open the bottle at the balcony, there were laughters of joy. just then the phone rang - it doesn't normally, especially at this hour. i missed it the first time, it was my brother. i rang him back immediately, and was broken the news that scrab just died. my immediate reaction was to ask what happened, then it registered in my head... scrab, my pet for the last thirteen years, was gone. months ago when i was home for holiday, my sis and i chatted about our fear for this day. and now, it had now become a fact. harsh, but true.

my heart sank, and the reality struck. bro and i went on msn to hear from sis. it was monday morning in kl. our maid found scrab near the door while she was sweeping the floor. he normally sleeps in the bathroom where the floor is cooler. so she tried to ask him to move, but scrab was just motionless. dad came to check, touched scrab for a while and said... he has left. after sis said final goodbye to scrab, they placed him in a cardboard box. apparently his body was still slightly warm and soft when they found him...  as i heard from my sis, tears blurred my vision and i just couldn't stop sobbing. at that moment, all three of us were reduced to crying figures.

sis couldn't stop thinking about the minute she touched scrab's lifeless body. he had always responded to us, even when he was sleeping. but this time, he was gone for good. they took some pics and sent to me and bro... scrab lying down on the floor like he was sleeping, just not breathing. what really hit me... was to see a pic of scrab in a box :'(

we decided to cremate scrab then bury his ashes in the house garden. it was a unanimous decision among us siblings, which mum respected. according to beliefs, 'good dogs' will try their best not to die inside the house. i guess scrab had tried his best to go out but the door was locked. all i wished for though, was he didn't feel too much pain before leaving us...

that was a really difficult night. had a hard time falling asleep, while i longed to see scrab in my dream. a part of me was upset that i did not manage to see him one last time, another part of me thought i might not be able to cope with his departure if i were there myself.

to scrab, thanks for all the joy that you brought us for the last 13 years. you had been a main part of my growing up phase, and you had etched such an indelible mark in my heart and many others. i wonder how dull my life would have been without you. hope you had a good time with us, i miss you so much! take good care of yourself... are you running freely and enjoying the sights in dog heaven now?