goodbye

it was a sunday night. ys and i were going to open a bottle of champagne as a late celebration for my qualification. as i tried to open the bottle at the balcony, there were laughters of joy. just then the phone rang - it doesn't normally, especially at this hour. i missed it the first time, it was my brother. i rang him back immediately, and was broken the news that scrab just died. my immediate reaction was to ask what happened, then it registered in my head... scrab, my pet for the last thirteen years, was gone. months ago when i was home for holiday, my sis and i chatted about our fear for this day. and now, it had now become a fact. harsh, but true.

my heart sank, and the reality struck. bro and i went on msn to hear from sis. it was monday morning in kl. our maid found scrab near the door while she was sweeping the floor. he normally sleeps in the bathroom where the floor is cooler. so she tried to ask him to move, but scrab was just motionless. dad came to check, touched scrab for a while and said... he has left. after sis said final goodbye to scrab, they placed him in a cardboard box. apparently his body was still slightly warm and soft when they found him...  as i heard from my sis, tears blurred my vision and i just couldn't stop sobbing. at that moment, all three of us were reduced to crying figures.

sis couldn't stop thinking about the minute she touched scrab's lifeless body. he had always responded to us, even when he was sleeping. but this time, he was gone for good. they took some pics and sent to me and bro... scrab lying down on the floor like he was sleeping, just not breathing. what really hit me... was to see a pic of scrab in a box :'(

we decided to cremate scrab then bury his ashes in the house garden. it was a unanimous decision among us siblings, which mum respected. according to beliefs, 'good dogs' will try their best not to die inside the house. i guess scrab had tried his best to go out but the door was locked. all i wished for though, was he didn't feel too much pain before leaving us...

that was a really difficult night. had a hard time falling asleep, while i longed to see scrab in my dream. a part of me was upset that i did not manage to see him one last time, another part of me thought i might not be able to cope with his departure if i were there myself.

to scrab, thanks for all the joy that you brought us for the last 13 years. you had been a main part of my growing up phase, and you had etched such an indelible mark in my heart and many others. i wonder how dull my life would have been without you. hope you had a good time with us, i miss you so much! take good care of yourself... are you running freely and enjoying the sights in dog heaven now?

2009 recap

been more than a year since i last wrote anything here. had the sudden whim to revive this blog since i start to feel older hence more absent-minded haha. another reason is also because i'm home alone now?!

will start by jotting down major events for the past year in chronological order...

jan

spent new year's eve and new year day in genting, main purpose being leo's NYE concert. had an amazing time throughout the trip - not only the concert (which was like a dream come true as it is back to pure music without hideous costumes), but also the company i went with! never had so much fun in a long time and was very glad i made the trip back... these people are crazy, but fun! hahaha.

went back to london on 3/1, then it's back to studies again. quite sure at one point i was very stressed out with studies (what's new) and kept questioning myself whether it was worth it. the rest of the month was most probably spent working...

feb

there was a heavy snowstorm in london one day... so much so that the whole london was brought to a halt. trains weren't working, streets were covered up in snow so it was dangerous to drive, people were scared of going to work since they didn't know whether they could make it back home... but on the other hand, it had been a long time since there was such heavy snow in london so that brought a smile to everyone's face, including me :) went on a stroll with housemate to canary wharf - well, not quite a stroll as walking in snow could be very exhausting. everything looked extra beautiful with a layer of fresh snow. we built 2 snowmen outside our flat and at that moment, we felt young again. post-snow wasn't so much fun though - once the snow melted, it left a layer of slush on the grounds which made walking more like skating. so for a few days i took 3x my normal time to get to work lol.

mar

don't recall anything special this month... studying?

apr

yet another sitting of exams - this time ST3 and SA3. the usual stress before and after, but something within me had started getting used to all these.

may

went on a trip that ys and i had always always talked about - US! we got too carried away with the cheap airfares so decided to cover as many cities as possible. i'm sure this trip deserves a post on its own but that'll have to wait lol. in summary, we hopped from nyc - buffalo (niagara falls) - washington dc - back to nyc - san francisco - yosemite - las vegas - grand canyon in our 2-week trip. very pushed for time, but always happens in our holidays haha. had a very good time despite the shock in the last few days at grand canyon.

went back to london feeling all depressed and uncertain. had the dreadful meeting with the partner and had to make decision within a week. that had to be the worst week of my working life. final decision was to stay - although it was tempting to say not to. oh well, life is about making choices then stick with the decision and not regretting it. today, i'm glad i took that option.

the rest of the month was filled with what-ifs and chats with family and friends - what do i do without them? picked up my courage to start job-hunting. got in touch with recruitment agents, many of whom sounded very demoralising, invariably affecting my confidence. cold-called some companies, sent cv to randoms... wanted to hope for the best but it wasn't easy to remain optimistic in the face of all these uncertainties.

jun

a glimpse of hope at the start of the month - scheduled for a phone interview on 2/6. have not had an interview for more than 3 years now, spent a panicky night before preparing although deep inside i wasn't confident. interview was very technical and competency-based... stammered but got through in the end. surprisingly got a favourable phone call right after and was scheduled for a second interview the week after (which was then brought forward to 2 days later). second interview was better than the first one... and the day after i got the good news :) so plan to go home still went ahead hehe.

was in good spirits when i was home. attempted mount kinabalu on 16-17/06, which again, deserves a post on its own haha. for now, very proud to say my father, brother and i reached the summit! spent a good 2 weeks at home, and come to think about it, that was the last time i saw scrab...

jul

got ready for visa application and did not have the mood to do much at work. very glad that manager was very considerate and kept asking me for updates. prob the only manager i miss from ex co!

aug

received visa some time late july and handed in my notice pretty soon after. this month went by quite quickly, took many many study days since i could afford to!

sep

left ex co towards the end of sep... leaving speech was surprisingly nice, and had leaving drinks which saw quite good turnout. sometimes i do miss ex colleagues...

started at new co the weekend after in awesome gherkin building. i admit the office location wowed me over and i still feel privileged being able to enter it haha. new colleagues are nice and friendly so i settled in quite quickly. took a week of study break in my 2nd week of work lol.

another sitting of exam, just SA3 this time. and yay, my last visit to the exam centre!

oct

birthday month once again... this time we went to riga. to be honest, nothing much to rave about this place and it was freezing cold when we went. was still a good getaway from the city i guess.

nov

nothing special happened this month... slowly getting the hang of new job and loving the 9-5 working hours.

dec

first week of dec was spent in france - went for a course with colleagues from different parts of europe. gotta admit i was pretty impressed with the amount invested in employees and to keep them happy. spent the weekend in paris - 2nd time there so we skipped the touristy spots and just roamed around freely. that felt good :)

ys's company car lease was coming to an end and we had to decide whether to renew it or to buy our own car. finally decided that we could be better off getting another car and had a few stressful weeks looking for good deals. finally settled for a 2nd hand car sold through authorised dealer and car to be collected in the new year.

exam result scheduled to be published at 8pm 22/12... was very fidgety as usual, esp since this would directly impact my mood for the egypt trip in 2 days. asked ys to stay in the room while i checked, and let out a scream when i saw my name on the list :D the day i had been waiting for! couldn't stop jumping around the house while heaving sighs of relief. up to this day, i still can't believe what i used to moan about has finally come to an end.

went to egypt for christmas and new year break, i guess i should write a post on this too. egypt was a lot more backward than i imagined, but it is one of those places that you would want to visit during your lifetime. gave me a new perspective of the world at the very least...

so yes, my 2009 NYE was spent amidst the chaos of cairo while reminiscing the good times shared on 2008 NYE!

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2009 was a year of tears and laughters to say the least. my confidence was tested, faith in myself faltered... but at the same time, ties with family and friends were strengthened. this was no doubt a pivotal and defining year in my life - i learnt so much through 'tough times', realised how supportive people around me are, and how fortunate i am :)